Saturday, January 19, 2008

Online Dating Questions: What Should I Ask a Prospective Match?

Online dating can be loads of fun.

Since the beginning, the online dating world has brought people together who would never have met in any other way. Online dating makes it easy to find prospective matches and to make true love connections.

Still, there are precautions that each online dating participant needs to take, and there are specific questions that each person should ask their prospective matches before they agree to meet or even to share any personally identifiable information.

It's important to keep in mind that online dating is best seen as a systematic process. It works best when you perceive it as a continuous process by which you select and receive representations of potential matches. If you find someone in whom you are interested, it is still a process as you get to know one another.

To be on the safe side, you need to retain your anonymity during this entire process until you are absolutely sure that the person you are communicating with is being honest with you. It is very important to know which questions to ask so you can get a better idea of whom you are really talking to.

Here are a few online dating questions that you should ask your prospective match to determine his or her personality and attitude. These questions are designed to help you get the information you need to make a determination about a person's true personal convictions.

Make sure that, when you ask these questions, they are not perceived to be confrontational in any way. Try to be as natural as possible when posing these questions, and make sure you are ready to answer the questions when they are posed to you, as well.

1. What do you think is the biggest mistake that people make when they are brand new to online dating?

Asking this question will give you some insight into how the person thinks about potential mates. You may get some insight into what the person thinks, in general, about the opposite sex, as well as what their personal beliefs might be when it comes to relationships.

2. What are you looking for in a potential mate?

When you ask this question, you can get an idea of what kind of traits the person is looking for. If the person answers the question with a joke or with another question directed back to you, it may be a sign that they don't really know. Or it may be a sign that he or she is not looking for a long-term relationship at all.

3. How would you define a successful relationship? What does a good relationship look like to you?

It is amazing how many different ways this question can be answered. For example, some people may say that a good relationship means spending every day together. For others, a good relationship is one in which each person has a degree of freedom and autonomy in daily life. It's important to discern both what you enjoy in a relationship as well as to know what your prospective mate would most enjoy.

4. What do you think about online dating?

With this question, you'll be able to determine if the person you are connecting with has ever had any negative experiences in the online dating world, as well as what might have caused these types of experiences.

5. Why did your last relationship end?

This is a touchy one. Many of us are likely to blame the other person for the end of a relationship. But others place the blame entirely on themselves. Find out your prospective mate's relationship history in as natural (and non-confrontational) a way as possible.

Asking good questions will give you an advantage in finding someone with whom you are truly compatible. Start with questions like the ones above, and when you come across more good relationship questions, make note of them and continue to pose them to prospective mates until you find someone who is just right for you.

author: Jamie Jefferson

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